In an industry built on service, it’s easy to focus on technology, standards and metrics. But the magic of hospitality happens in the moments of intentional human interactions; the heartfelt gestures, tone, and presence that makes people feel truly seen and welcomed.
Over the past several years, I’ve invested a lot of time with our exceptional team members who demonstrate what we refer to as HeartSkills; what our best people do naturally every day. I dissected these behaviors and aligned them with five teachable skills in order to embed them into our culture. Here are the five coachable, transferable skills that can have a positive impact on your organization’s culture:
1. Joy and Gratitude
How do we deliver joy to others, when we might not be joyful ourselves? Hospitality thrives on positivity, but it can be difficult in a world where there is an increase in stress, burnout and even depression. Joy and gratitude have often been considered as “feelings.” However, they can become transferable skills through mindfulness and practice. Practicing joy and gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring our personal challenges or hardships; it does mean finding reasons to be thankful and bringing that mindset as we enter each day.
Simple habits help:
- Start or end the day with a joy/gratitude journal. Journaling can be very brief. Often a few written words for you to use as your mantra for the day.
- Start each day with a mindset of “loving the person in front of you.” Remember—this starts with the person you see in the mirror before you start each day.
- Encourage teams to share one “bright spot” during pre-shift meetings. What is bringing you joy—for what are you grateful?
- Model optimism in the face of challenges—our emotions are contagious.
As one of our wise team members said, “Even on hard days, I can still choose joy—because joy is how I show up for others and it makes my day better.”
2. Hospitality with Heart and Soul vs. Service
True hospitality goes beyond the traditional “15-5 rule” (smile at 15 feet, greet at 5). It’s about truly seeing the people in front of us. When we only keep in mind the spatial properties of the 15/5 rule, we use the analytical side of our brain. The ability to move beyond service to hospitality is through the social parts of our brain and really seeing others. Practicing the South African spirit of the Ubuntu greeting, Sawubona, can help us to activate the social part of our brain. Translated, the word means “I see you.” When we practice this concept and slow down long enough to genuinely see our guests and colleagues, we bring them into our world, and can create moments that become lasting memories.
It could be as simple as a front desk associate genuinely asking a guest entering the lobby with their luggage, “How was your trip here?” Sawubona can be felt even when we don’t see the person in front of us. For example, a housekeeper might arrange a child’s toys with care or a chef might add a handwritten birthday note to a dessert plate. Those seemingly small touches make others feel seen and build emotional connection—the kind humans remember.
3. A Sense of Intention (Not Urgency)
While speed matters in hospitality, haste can sabotage learning and quality. There’s a difference between urgency and intention.
When we slow down to do things right—especially in training—we actually move faster in the long run. New associates need space to build confidence and rhythm before they can match the efficiency and flow of seasoned team members. Help your new team members to find their flow.
4. Emotional Intelligence
Technical skills can get someone hired, but the emotional quotient (EQ) is what keeps teams strong. EQ is the ability to recognize, understand and manage our emotions. It also helps us to do the same in order to influence the emotions of others. Studies show that most Fortune 500 companies invest in EQ development, and hotels should too.
In practice, emotional intelligence looks like patience during busy shifts, grace under pressure and kindness that isn’t dependent on how others behave. Emotional intelligence requires recognizing our emotions, then determining how to manage the emotion. As one model housekeeper put it: “I greet everyone with kindness. How they respond is up to them, but I know who I am.”
5. Compassion in Action
While empathy is “I feel what you feel”, compassion is the higher level demonstrating a willingness to take action. Hospitality, at its best, turns empathy into compassion, such as helping a guest who’s struggling, supporting a teammate in crisis or offering a simple act of care that makes someone’s day easier.
Compassion doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s about noticing what’s needed and doing something about it, right in that moment.
The Heart of the Matter
HeartSkills aren’t soft skills; they’re success skills. They strengthen culture, reduce turnover and elevate guest experiences. Try focusing on one heart skill each week with your team. You’ll be surprised at how quickly “service” becomes “hospitality with heart and soul.”
About the Author: Kathryn Harris is the corporate director of learning and development for PCH Hotels & Resorts. She is an active member of the Council of Hotel and Restaurant Trainers (CHART).
This article was originally published in the February/March edition of Hotel Management magazine. Subscribe here.